my thoughts expressed in words


on May 7, 2011


I used to write letters to you frequently after i got married and settled down in mumbai.. but gradually letter writing dimnished and phone calls took over.But i still cherish the letters that you wrote to me. So just thought of writing to you today. Your letters carried loads of advice as to how i should ‘adjust’ in the new family, how i should ‘earn’ a good name etc., etc., After saying all this, you always added

“I know i need not tell you all this as you are a good girl”

I used to read the letter patiently to read this last line which showed the enormous faith you had in me. I lived by your words. I did not find it difficult to adjust in the new family and entertain all the family members because i have never seen you uncomfortable with dad’s family! I accepted to my mom in law that i dont know much cooking because i have seen you asking guidance from my paternal aunts ! I was in complete understanding with my husband because I have never seen you and dad fight for something. You may have had differences of opinion but one of you always compromised. That’s what I thought was the secret of your successful marriage which was a wonderful journey of togetherness for twenty six years!The next thing I adore about you and appa is your friends circle. We always had people visiting us in our house. Amma I am proud to tell you that I have imbibed that quality from you both and have a huuuuuuge circle of friends and well wishers.

I was an apple of the eye for you both..(or more for my father!!! ???). Just kidding amma, I know you both loved me equally and it was the toughest question to be answered in my childhood whether i am dad’s pet or your’s. But since you were a teacher, your academic expectations from me were more…. I still remember the thrashings i had had from you and how appa used to calm u down and plead with me to be more attentive when u are teaching me…But he used to forget all this when it comes to discipline of keeping things in its place, or table ettiquets.. how he used to scold me….But nothing has gone waste. I still can find things in its place, and eat very neatly !!!

You were were particular that i should make a career, take up a job and ‘stand on my own feet’..Oh my goodness, how i have made fun of that statement as to ‘even now i am standing on my own feet”…amma, i didnt really understand at that age as to how important it is. Some how your leaving me back with the maid and going to work had a bad impact in my mind and i just didn’t want to do the same to my kids. Anyways, no regrets amma… I am happy !

Now we were friends… I still can’t forget the day appa was diagnosed of throat cancer and I came up and told you that you should share everything with me and we will face it together. I knew I had a big responsibility of taking care of your mental state. We fought it…all the three of us. You were very strong. At those times I have never seen you shedding tears and feeling gloomy.When i finished college and got married, you had full faith in your son in law that he will come  up in life from what he was on that day. Hats off to your predictions amma. You always wanted to visit places and go on pilgrimage. But somewhere this did not work out for you. Gradually your health deteriorated. But you still managed to do things on your own. You have been very positive and down to earth. Though your health worsened in the last five years, you are still cheerful at times when you are energetic.

If only you were healthy, i am sure you would have learnt all about computer, e mails, blogs and contributed a lot ….

Your health condition does  not permit you to sit and read this. But i am sure you would have appreciated me if you had.

I love  you amma for all that you taught me in life…….

4 responses to “MY TRIBUTE….

  1. sujit says:

    Autograph please……

  2. creativemau says:

    what to say now Anu,
    just speechless !

  3. shilpa says:

    very touching letter from a daughter to her strict but loving mom.

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