my thoughts expressed in words

Modest life style…..

Rs.140 salary

40 rupees to parents who stayed in a small town in southern tamil nadu

28 rupees towards lunch and dinner ( Saturday nights were tiffin item for those who fasted ..( a usual practice with s.indians and sunday lunch was with a sweet) !

15 rupees towards room rent ( shared by 3 people)

7 rupees towards coffee for the whole month ( i can hear many of us saying “that’s tooo much”!)

in the remaining 50 rupees, a hair cut, dhobi, and railway pass had to be taken care of. Till the 10th of the month, life was lavish with a morning coffee, something to eat during office lunch hours, and an evening tea. Post 10th, the coffee, lunch time khana and evening tea were given up. only food in the morning at the hostel and straight night dinner.Girls asked him what he would do if he was very hungry….He just smiled and said ‘Nothing,  I will just drink a glass of water and keep quiet”. As a doting grandpa, father in law and dad (please make a note of the order of  affection…i am sorry srini …)!!!!he just cant see someone fasting or not having a wholesome meal. And yes we understand u appa !!!

The train ticket to chennai from mumbai was 18 rupees.( Now its 16 rupees for a matunga return says my elder one..) they were awestruck when appa was describing one of his train journeys to native place. There were only two trains from mumbai, one a mail which took 32 hours and another one was an express train.

Once he had taken the mail which ran late and so he subsequently missed the connecting train to his hometown.(No tele-check in available ! ) Since it was late night, the station wore a deserted look  and he had to ‘check in‘ in the platform with few more of them who too had missed. How we crib these days when our flight is delayed even by ten minutes..nodding of heads, shoulders shrugging ..a common gesture at the airport..He approached a nearby kiosk for a glass of milk and was fortunate to see the shutters come down in front of him.(No CCD,No Pizza Huts….and no take aways)  Tired and  hungry, his suitcase becomes his pillow for that night. Anticipating that he can have food in the nearby junction when he catches the train next morning, he finds there was an acute shortage of food as there were many trains which ran late the previous day. Finally he reaches home and the last straw was his mother pouring water over cooked rice after waiting for him for the whole day. He had the water removed and butter milk added to it…

Today, he can get an e-ticket, tele check-in and push his seat back in the aircraft and have a relaxed journey, but health does not co-operate with him to undertake long journeys…..

Thats the irony of life…….

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First day……

I was anxiously waiting at the bus stand to catch a bus which goes to my college… Just for few days and I identified a friendly face, travelling with me in the same bus, getting down at the same stop and getting into my own class… We became friends and we are still. Its 25 years old.  We are a thousand plus miles away from each other but can still connect.

Today when i was waiting at the college of my younger daughter, i saw girls and boys bubbling with energy, girls were all  dressed all most in jeans and tops, leaving their hair open, laughing out loud and pulling each others legs, all interesting and naughty t.-shirt quotes, different types of jeans, girls in three fourth pants…and leggings and kurtis carrying themselves comfortably and the boys, poor ones, not much of a variety to wear…… what a care free stage of life… Of course i dont miss telling my daughters, that we did not have even the tension of carrying a cell phone with us…. we just needed to call home from a public phone to tell that we would be late or we were going to a friend’s place. Life was much simpler.. But its nice to see todays children handling high end gizmos very casually and being tech savvy…[ flabbergasted when my daughter sent a message through whats app that college is ‘coool’ and ‘fun’ ]  their confidence beams in their face. Their energy is infectious.. I felt so happy just by seeing them. Being in their company would have made me all the more young.

I also realized that i have been a good friend of my daughter more than being a mom… It reminded me of a line i read in a book….”controlling mothers are insecure mothers” Its a rope walk… At every stage we need to handle it carefully so that the child develops that confidence in us to open and share all that is there in his/her life.

Life is fun for them for them.. As a mother, i was praying and blessing them that they should live happily and achieve all their dreams…

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Mother……….no proxy found…

They say


The absence of mother creates a void. However diabled she is, whether she is conscious or not, she gives her child a comfort of being there. Howmuch ever the child prays to Lord to take away her mother, as the child cannot see her suffer, the emptiness creeps in when she is not there.

Time will heal the wound, Time will take care, etc., are all true and right. But till that starts working, the child [how ever old he or she is] misses the mother badly. The child carries out her daily duties, compells herself in her routine, smiles, laughs, eats, sleeps, all mechanically. The thought that mother is no more keeps flashing in her mind. Life still moves on.

The value of something or someone is completely understood when it is not with us. Mothers are termed as nagging, irritating, inquisitive, and many more. When she is not there, there is no body to do all this to us. But we would have grown up as good human beings by the time. If she had not ‘ nagged’  ‘irritated’  and ‘intruded’ in our activities, God  knows what we would have been.

She burns herself like a candle to take care of us right from the time that are created in her womb..

She deserves to be taken care of, loved, admired, accomodated and adored.

I pity those who abuse their mothers and send them to Old age homes. God bless them too for their folly…

Time is running out…. HUG your mother every time you see her.. be it even if its daily or hourly…..

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