my thoughts expressed in words

The goodbye throw

on March 7, 2023

It was in Nov 2022, that I first visited a public library in the US. As mentioned in one of my instagram posts, though I have been coming here( I am writing this while still in the US), for five years now, this is the first time that I visited the public library. Laughlin being a small quiet town, me and my daughter spent quality time by lending books from library, sitting next to each other at home and quietly get drowned in our respective books. After an hour, we would watch some old series in TV and then a few episodes later look at each other and back to reading. I consider this period one of the golden phases of my life.

When On a quick run to Laughlin Library!

The Large Print (LP) books here were new to me and I was happy to read a couple of them. My first book on Amish by Patricia Davids made me pick up one more and then even buy one from Barns and Noble just for keep sake which I finished too last month.

Now I am with my daughter in Atlanta and wanted to read a book from the public library just to keep up with the tradition I started. And here I found the gist of this book, The goodbye quilt by Susan Wiggs, resonating too well to me as a mom who sent her daughter in 2016 to the United States from India, with a cheerful goodbye not with a quilt instead a throw that I crocheted. Linda the mum drives with her daughter Molly to drop her off. Its all about the emotions the duo go through

Mile a minute throw that I crocheted and packed with all the love and warmth when daughter left for US

I am a single child to my parents. My mom worked till my older daughter was born. 

When the author says, “ setting aside the thought of a professional career turned out well for me. Life is good enough”, I can totally resonate with these words. I wanted to be home when the children came back from school, the underlying feeling I always had a kid, made me strongly choose to be a SAHM which I proudly say I am by choice. The author says, “I would be the mother I wanted my mother to be “

But my mother had her own reasons for working and earning. 

That said, I had parents who were ridiculously down to earth. There was no place for emotional dramas. So I grew up to be a person who was always in the ‘detached attachment’ mode. 

In the author’s words, “Separation meant the possibility of never seeing each other again. I should count my blessings’

Yes, in this age of technology there hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t spoken to my daughters in a video call. Can’t ask for more isn’t it?

Hand made dresses, frocks, throws, sweaters, beanies always had a special place in our home. My mum in law of 83 now, has been sewing for decades. She still does but less. 

To quote the author,

“You make time for the things that matter to you. Everyone has the time. It’s just a question of deciding what to do with that time”

I have to mention my mum in law here who has a time for everything every day. Its extremely important to utilize our time productively. Me and mum knit and crochet on all the days.

She too knitted a throw for my daughter .

Throw knitted by mum in law

With all the anxiety of an average mum who sees her child off to a foreign land alone, I too prayed and hoped she will be safe away from me. The author puts my feelings in the book in the following words.

“I won’t be around to protect her at all, so I’d better get used to the churning nervousness in my gut”

My only solace was my prayers.

A used and washed saree of mum in law was stitched back to back so that she can cover herself when she needed the warmth of the older women she had growing up.

Visiting the chain of craft and fabric shop and the nail salons here with the daughters is fun. My joy knew no bounds when the author mentions that too.

Scrap yarn throw done when the world came to a standstill in 2020.

To quote the author, “There are very few people you can talk to without words. The fact that my daughter(s) has always been one of those people for me is beyond price”

Life is beautiful. Its seven years since I made the throw for her and find it wonderful to see her using it even today as she cuddles up.

I look at them when they sleep next to me. Today’s girls face lots of challenges. Each one’s life has different tough scenes. As a mother I want to be there to solve all of them for them. But the harsh truth is I can’t.

The author has put it nicely, powerful words I felt.

“There are some things I am not meant to teach her. She’ll only learn them by finding out for herself. I can hope and pray that I’ve raised a young woman who knows how to be happy, but I can’t hand it to her like my mother’s button collection, sealed in a mason jar. Starting now she will have to be the steward of her own life”

Being away from the girls I try to remain calm at all situations and can say with pride, have achieved to a far extent. Also being cautious of not being an intrusive parent.

The author puts it out eloquently

The essence of life is the journey, unblunted by an over protective parent. There is a richness Molly will find even in the deepest sadness. She has a beautiful future ahead. Sticking around, interfering and shielding her will rob her of something she needs to figure out on her own. I don’t want to stand in the way. Life as it unfolds is just too incredible “

Linda will live eternally in my memory. I finished the book in two days and returned it.

Wanted to possess a copy, but unfortunately they have stopped printing is what the book store person said. I was quite upset as I wanted one for myself and one to gift for some one. I have placed my wish here to the universe and I am confident it will be answered.

Thank you Susan Wiggs for such a beautiful book.

My daughter’s colleague gifted her this handmade quilt which is also a prized possession at home.

The universe was kind enough to grant my wish. Thrift books website had 2 copies and I happily grabbed them


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