anusrini

my thoughts expressed in words

Mithran the miracle.

Me and hubby set out for a long walk last Sunday morning. Residing a road parallel to the highway, in five minutes time we hit the highway and started walking . 

Just 200 metres we walked  and this soul started walking along with us. A roadside dog, i thought he will walk a few yards and then go back or stand where he is …he was three legged and that swept my heart away. Not a great pet lover, as i feel it’s more a responsibility than a status symbol, i was admonishing ny husband who was talking to the dog promising to buy biscuits. At one stage i told him to stop calling him to follow us as it ached to see him limp. 

He had very beautiful eyes, and the expression they wore is something I am unable to comprehend. 

What was he trying to say …?

Why did he look at me like that?

Why did I choke when i patted him and asked him if he was abondoned because he had a physical disability ?

Why did I quickly decide to take him home when all these days i have been reluctant?

I dont have answers for any of the above. …but I know my heart reached out to him . 

I am given to understand, that they usually don’t go beyond their territory. Neither are they welcomed in the other . But here mithran, was never ever rudely attacked by other stray dogs all through the way. They used to bark a couple of times and go back once he turned and snarled at them 

We reached quite a distance and stopped to buy some.biscuits for him. He quenched his thirst too in the bucketful of water outside the shop. Had almost the full pack of biscuits and started following us again. 

All the way people were looking at us assuming we are the owners of mithran !!!

Since we were heading to a temple, and we were almost there and as my husband felt there would be many dogs near the temple, we tried to put him in an auto rickshaw and take him up to the temple straight away so that he can escape the wrath of the bullies. 

He refused to get into the vehicle and we walked again . Once in the temple premises, he wanted to enter the temple too which was prohibited of course . So like a super mom i waited outside with him and my husband finished his darshan and came out and played the role of a super dad and I went for darshan !!!😊

Once we finished the darshan we tried to get him into the vehicle once again, by then making up our minds for sure to adopt him and bring him home. I was constantly updating my daughters who were also ready to accept him. 

But our efforts were in vain. He refused to be in the vehicle even for a minute even after forcibly shifting him inside. We left him near the temple and returned. 

Husband took the car and went again to retrieve him. But he was to be found nowhere . 

but never did we even imagine in our wildest dreams he is going to walk all the 6 kilometres with us….yes 6 long kilometres and that too limping its way.

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Its all in the mind….

images (1)Be bold when you lose…..
Be calm when you win…..
Changing the face can change nothing…..
But Facing the change can change everything…..

That was a forward I got in whats app this morning.

True..losing and winning is part of life. They make their presence alternately.
To sulk and go into deep depression and to float in the air are two extremes.
Praying to give us the strength to bear the loss is equally important as praying to keep us grounded.
To remain calm is not easy but not impossible
Tune your mind with Almighty and be ready to accept HIS verdict…afterall ..you did your part well
Pray incessantly…at loss and at success
Believe in yourself and the mighty force guiding you
Believe in miracles
It does happen..I mean it
Have gratitude to what you have been blessed with
Count your blessings
Compare your sorrow with that man who is undergoing more than what you are going through

There is a time and reason for the loss as well as the success.
If we knew the time and reason we would be GOD😆

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think, thank and smile ………..Part II

not just million copies bestselling authors  have sequels to their works, even i have one!!!    stock-vector-happy-woman-smiling-and-making-a-gesture-pointing-her-smile-and-teeth-143690512

https://anusrini.wordpress.com/2012/12/04/think-thank-and-smile/
yes its time again to think thank and smile.

yes i can write this only after writing two posts on how the incident happened,

https://anusrini.wordpress.com/2014/02/24/from-the-convalescing-state/

https://anusrini.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/my-dance-lessons-2/

and how i am recovering… Though i haven’t fully recovered physically, i am mentally fit enough to think,thank and smile….hence this post today….

think’ part really sends goosebumps allover and some times makes me melancholic  for the next twenty four hours…

but “thinking ‘ at regular intervals , as always make me strong,confident, grateful, hopeful, and what not…. strong.…strong enough to take one more health set back. strong enough to feel, and to say, “Oh i have undergone this a couple of times earlier.. .like i told to the general physician who started explaining to me the procedure and i interrupted to say… “Doctor this is my fifth surgery”… he was smiling…….

 

confident.…….that by almighty’s grace I once again landed in the hands of the best doctor.

confident that i will be back to normalcy in due course.

 

confident that i am given the best attention and care.and believe me i was proved right again.

My Orthopaedic, Dr.Sachin Bhonsale seems to be a master crafter. With his pleasant smile which speaks a ton, [ as he seems to be a man of few words], he was deft in his work. Within three weeks of time i was out of my plaster and sling… I cherished the liberty of being able to move my limbs then. A few more visits, and I am back to my passion with all the enthusiasm. I thanked my stars again for being placed in the best hands. I dont mean to say other doctors are bad. Please don’t read between the lines.. I am just talking about me and my experience.

grateful …that i am blessed with the Best family,[the oldest being my grandma…whose voice message in whats app sent by my daughter is my daily pill of strength…..] who support me every doctor and nursestime. and also lots of friends and well wishers, who called, visited and sent messages wishing me speedy recovery. Prayers are so powerful is what i realized for the nth time.

 

hopeful…….that this is the last mishap in my tenure on earth!!!!!! and if it is not …i am hopeful i will have the same mental strength to stride through the forthcoming one with the same set of blessings, wishes, prayers and support…

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Think, thank and Smile……

Think, thank, and smile…..

 

It’s a ritual I do everyday…not necessarily at the same time everyday, but definitely once or more than once  in a day..

Sometimes in the bathroom,

Sometimes in the kitchen,

Sometimes when I am sweating out in the treadmill,

Sometimes when I squat on the floor,

Sometimes when I ride my scooty,

Sometimes when I walk vigorously,

I think of those days when I was partially crippled

Crippled physically due to a surgery

I thank  the Almighty for having blessed me with a brain and a heart

to have thought about him and be assured,

I smile at my own faith,  an unflinching faith on HIM   and the grace bestowed on me…

 

Retrospectively, I feel my being positive has always helped me.

 

It is in my cells to be positive though my

blood may belong to a negative group !

 

I could handle stressful situations with minimum discomfort,

I could take others stress and still remain calm,

I could provide solace to them,

I could offer my shoulders any time for them to lean on,

In due course becoming the confidante of many of my friends.

 

Words of wisdom from a friend made me put my thoughts in writing

And proved writing is therapeutic !!!

 

I think, thank and smile. 🙂 

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To a shining star

Long back u came into their life ….
It was not accidental but was of choice….
They chose to bring you home just out of ‘love’ ……
You became an apple of the eye to all … Including me !!!!
We love you the way you are…
We know you are going to have a bright future ….
You are very articulate n that’s your strength ….
You have a sweet smile which can hold a person’s heart close to you
Many a septuagenarian and octogenarian need to take tips from you on how to be matured …..
Thanks for the joy you have given us
And may the almighty bless you with all that you deserve
A very happy birthday darshu !!!!!

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for the soul resting in peace….

missing your mortal remains to hug u mom

but happy that all your sufferings came to an end.

In this context, i can call myself ‘unfortunate’ to have prayed for your last breath, when all others in the world would pray for their parents longevity….

i am sorry ma…

But,

Thanks for bringing me in this world,

thanks for teaching me the values of life,

thanks for being my friend

your will power, practicality and down to earth attitude, still amazes me and makes me wonder what a powerful woman you were.

Its not only on this date i remember you, you are in my thoughts everyday and specially at all those ecstatic moments of being a mom !!!!!!

I am sure your soul is resting in peace…….

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The journey so far…….

We met when we were less than ten years old. Then we missed each other on many occasions. After sixteen years, we were brought together. A couple of days we spent together and realized the ‘chemistry’ that worked between us!

Then things proceeded  in jet speed, parents discussed, approved , exchanged letters, and decided. Our betrothal was over. Just a few more moths and we were man and wife.

The journey started there, being for each other.

A TRUE MAN DOESN’T PROMISE, HE COMMITS AND A TRUE LADY DOESN’T DEMAND, SHE THANKS…..

Living, following the above success formula, the many years of togetherness is beautiful. Life was not easy.  Adjustments, compromises, were part of this journey. End of the day, i had this unflinching faith in him that he is there to take care of everything in my life. Can even say, i surrendered myself… and with absolute no regret till this day. The emotional support that i have recieved on so many instances, is tremendous. Listening to me when i am upset gave me the confidence to confide anything and everything to him. Comforting me at the most disturbed moments of life, standing by my side, patting me for being brave, looking up to me for his emotional dependence, makes me feel on cloud nine…

Its the not the gifts that your spouse showers on you, nor the holiday  destinations that he takes you, its the emotional proximity of each other, that matters. Its two way, the more you give, the more u get. The compromises, and sacrifices, that are made at the initial years of married life, paves way for years of understanding. There is no place for Ego in this relationship.

Looking forward for years and years  of togetherness ……………..

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The seven year company………..

Some one Special……

She is  Kasturi Aayah…. my acquaintance for the past so many years but someone who became a part of me from 2004. She used to work as a helper in the next door montessori school in my hometown. I have seen her taking wailing toddlers from their parents into the school, doing all the chores inside the school, sometimes feeding the children who are not very keen about having it themselves. Eventually when the school was shut down, aayah had to stay at home. In 2004  i was looking for a maid, a nanny [as i was sure that in the near future, my  mother would require all the attention a baby requires]. She approached me through some other contacts and assured me that she will help my mother. She had taken moral responsibility of bringing up her granddaughters. She was in need of money and i was in need of manpower. Above all it was good fortune of both of us that we met and entered into a mutual agreement !

Initially she used to come and take care of my mother and leave for her house. Gradually situation changed and she used to stay throughout the day and go to her house just to cook food. Later on i suggested that she shifts to my place so that she does not leave my mother and go.

She was a good company for my mom, who enjoyed chatting with her. When she forced my mom for something they had their bit of arguments. She used to sit next to my mom to feed her, and coax her to finish the food. Coffee was always at the right temperature for my mom to drink. Medicines were administered time to time.When mom’s health deteriorated, she did all that, that a nurse in a hospital would do.Even when she bought  fruits or sweets for her grandchildren, she never missed giving a small bite to my mother. I have never seen her having food before feeding my mother be it in the afternoon or at night.  Mom was kept spic and span always.  She became full time caretaker of my mom.

On my visits to chennai, i was pampered too. When i brushed and came  out of the bathroom, she used to handover a cup of steaming hot coffee to me. Right at breakfast time  she used to religiously ask me everyday what i would like to eat and subsequently what was my plan for lunch. My clothes were washed, dried, pressed and kept regularly. She used to pack some sambhar powder for me when it was time for me to leave to bombay – a gesture a mother does to her daughter staying outstation.

She was taking care of petty [yet important] errands too like paying the rent of the house, electricity bill, paying the medical store etc…. I didnt have to bother about those things. All festive occasions, she lit a diya in our puja room and kept the tradition going.

Just before my mom breathed  her last, kasturi aaya was fortunate enough to feed her sips of water.

Now she has gone back to her house. Her eyes well up when she talks about my mother….But she is there when i am there once again taking care of all my requirements.

Its not just a simple relationship, its something different and no words can describe the mental comfort her presence has given me. Seven long years…… since she came to our house to work and she still is one person to whom i owe a lot.

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Mother……….no proxy found…

They say

GOD CANNOT BE EVERYWHERE THAT’S WHY HE MADE MOTHERS………..

The absence of mother creates a void. However diabled she is, whether she is conscious or not, she gives her child a comfort of being there. Howmuch ever the child prays to Lord to take away her mother, as the child cannot see her suffer, the emptiness creeps in when she is not there.

Time will heal the wound, Time will take care, etc., are all true and right. But till that starts working, the child [how ever old he or she is] misses the mother badly. The child carries out her daily duties, compells herself in her routine, smiles, laughs, eats, sleeps, all mechanically. The thought that mother is no more keeps flashing in her mind. Life still moves on.

The value of something or someone is completely understood when it is not with us. Mothers are termed as nagging, irritating, inquisitive, and many more. When she is not there, there is no body to do all this to us. But we would have grown up as good human beings by the time. If she had not ‘ nagged’  ‘irritated’  and ‘intruded’ in our activities, God  knows what we would have been.

She burns herself like a candle to take care of us right from the time that are created in her womb..

She deserves to be taken care of, loved, admired, accomodated and adored.

I pity those who abuse their mothers and send them to Old age homes. God bless them too for their folly…

Time is running out…. HUG your mother every time you see her.. be it even if its daily or hourly…..

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My instant energy pill !!!!!

There is Reason

For every pain that we must bear,

For every burden, every care

There is a reason.

For every grief that crushes our heart

For every scalding tear we shed,

There is a reason.

For every hurt, for every plight,

For every lonely, painful night,

There is a reason.

Yet, if we trust God, as we all must,

It can turn to be for our good.

 

HE KNOWS THE REASON.

 

Swami Chinmayananda

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