anusrini

my thoughts expressed in words

Home alone

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How true… loneliness ..or to be alone is not a punishment or curse always.
I like my ‘being alone’ time. It gives me time to do my work in my order of preference than the order set by someone else for me.
I am aware I need to fold the clothes heaped on the sofa, but it can wait for ten minutes till I satisfy my urge to do a line or two of the ongoing crochet project.
I drag my chair near the cot and settle there with a book, so that once in a while I stare out of the window to look at the sky and the emptiness in front of me.
There are many thoughts which run through my mind at this moment..its like a chain ..I suddenly realize where I have reached from the first thought that spurred up.
I love to go from room to room just looking around not at anything particular..does it sound weird ?
But this is also time to contemplate on how I should let go, and how difficult it is to execute that. The hurt sometimes is bad enough that even though I superficially let go it, it does lie deep down. I realize I haven’t yet mastered the art of letting go fully. I can only be away from situations and people (where I can)
I am after all an average human being
I love most to sit down and sip coffee accompanied with some crunchies and just mentally plan a menu for dinner and check how I can keep cooking to the minimum yet delicious !!
The time I go for a walk is undoubtedly the best but I enjoy the loneliness I get during the day too.
An hour before my daughter reaches home is the sweetest as I see ‘my time’ slowly transforming to ‘our time’
Love you all…
Do love ‘your’ time

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Smile ….

When I Take my Cup of coffee and step into the terrace…they make me smile. They make me forget everybody and everything. Those ten or fifteen minutes I spend with them  energizes me for the day. Hurts,pains, disappointments are all washed away and the heart becomes  light. Mind becomes calm. I talk to them many times…right from saying good morning to asking them some questions as it has been a habbit from childhood…
They are next to books , music and a hobby that we pursue  in giving the best company to any person.
My day will be filled today with enthusiasm.
Reading n listening musicis in today’s timetable.
a break from crochet for today.
have  a great day folks

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Love you all

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Our time

Life is at top gear in 30’s and in mid 40’s I  suddenly feel I have more time. Children are in  college and would like to have their time with their friends. Husband concentrates in his career shaping. I am busy crochetting and reading books and gardening a little. I am happy that I am enjoying what I am doing as my job of being a homemaker was by choice. No regrets about it.
My friend and me decide to spend some time together. We plan and she lands at my place. A place new to her. A culture new to her. A cuisine new to her. But she enjoys the week long stay. Not that we kept roaming everyday. After a couple of visits to the nearby temples and other places, we just stayed at home listening to our favourite melodies, crochetting, gossiping and exchanging recipes.
A week was enough to rejuvenate ourselves.
we realized the importance of ‘my time’. I now feel happy…not that I wasn’t earlier. I know I can recharge myself In my own way, my own style.

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Death and me….

Is it fortitude or  am i emotionless?
Why doesn’t my eyes well up?
Why doesn’t my stomach churn and knot
Why do i simply awe at the uncertainity of life and move ahead?
How can i take it so light?
How can i just brush it aside right away as

‘Its part of life’

Have i becone stone hearted?
If so, from when ?
Is it because i was exposed to the realities of life from childhood?
Is it because i didn’t have a sibling who would wipe my tears
Is it because i learned to pick up myself and walk
Is it because i dont miss to take lessons from others who have faced much more severe calamities
Is it that i pride in my abilities to handle?
Is it just because i have understood the truth that the soul is different from the body?
Does having a detached attachment aide in my being this way
Is it because death doesn’t scare me

Or

Is it coincidence or God’s will
that i am present at all adverse moments to take charge of the situation?

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Being and making happy…

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I got this in whats app this morning from a friend…today is one of those rare days when I look at the mobile for whats app, viber or any other messages while still in bed….yes getting up late, and doing things at your own pace is something a woman gets to enjoy once in a while.

The quote sounds simple….and it is simple. But its we who  complicate it. Nobody on earth is hundred percent happy. We all have our own share of unhappines and  dissatisfaction. Just the proportion of hapiness and unhappiness differs. There is nothing wrong either about being unhappy. But as age advances we need to know the importance we need to give to those issues that make us so.
The quote says
“Making everyone happy is not in our hands”

Not necessarily …I feel. You can always “try” to make others happy and in the process if they do not understand our motive its thwir headache.  But yes, you cannot make each and everyone happy.  You can only try and suggest means and ways to make them happy.  To take it or not is in their hands.

Now the second part..

” being happy with everyone is definitely in our hands ”

Yes…this is where we have the reigns.

We need to be happy with ourselves first

We crib about so many things…… unhappy about being who we are,
right from the gender,
how we are,
where we are,
why we are ( why me ..is the worst and I hate it )
And the worser part we dont ask ourselves the same question when something wonderful happens in life…
Is that fair?
There is no need to feel victimized.
No one out there is behind our blood.

Feeling happy corelates to feeling beautiful from within.
Getting up to the chirping sound of birds is beautiful, but if you cannot afford it and only get up to the blaring sound of a vehicle, don’t lose heart, 

Feel beautiful …you are still alive to hear that.

learn to consciously apply the art of appreciation in your daily life. You will find so many little things that you failed to notice  otherwise.

Feel positive about everything, even if its as simple as popping up a pill for some sickness. Believe that the pill is going to work for you. The real effect of the pill starts there. If you dont believe, the side effect starts there too.
Once you have chosen to appreciate yourself,  your countenance starts reflecting your mind. There is a smile, a sort of contentment showing up. Your skin glows. There is a  halo behind your face and that attracts people. Your happiness is expressed.

You start recieving compliments….

As I said above, I recieved the above picture along with the message

THIS SOUNDS MORE LIKE YOU anu…..

Thanks sheeba ….you made my day.

PS. If I can appreciate the beauty of life, you can do it too… a compliment is on your way probably…

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think, thank and smile ………..Part II

not just million copies bestselling authors  have sequels to their works, even i have one!!!    stock-vector-happy-woman-smiling-and-making-a-gesture-pointing-her-smile-and-teeth-143690512

https://anusrini.wordpress.com/2012/12/04/think-thank-and-smile/
yes its time again to think thank and smile.

yes i can write this only after writing two posts on how the incident happened,

https://anusrini.wordpress.com/2014/02/24/from-the-convalescing-state/

https://anusrini.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/my-dance-lessons-2/

and how i am recovering… Though i haven’t fully recovered physically, i am mentally fit enough to think,thank and smile….hence this post today….

think’ part really sends goosebumps allover and some times makes me melancholic  for the next twenty four hours…

but “thinking ‘ at regular intervals , as always make me strong,confident, grateful, hopeful, and what not…. strong.…strong enough to take one more health set back. strong enough to feel, and to say, “Oh i have undergone this a couple of times earlier.. .like i told to the general physician who started explaining to me the procedure and i interrupted to say… “Doctor this is my fifth surgery”… he was smiling…….

 

confident.…….that by almighty’s grace I once again landed in the hands of the best doctor.

confident that i will be back to normalcy in due course.

 

confident that i am given the best attention and care.and believe me i was proved right again.

My Orthopaedic, Dr.Sachin Bhonsale seems to be a master crafter. With his pleasant smile which speaks a ton, [ as he seems to be a man of few words], he was deft in his work. Within three weeks of time i was out of my plaster and sling… I cherished the liberty of being able to move my limbs then. A few more visits, and I am back to my passion with all the enthusiasm. I thanked my stars again for being placed in the best hands. I dont mean to say other doctors are bad. Please don’t read between the lines.. I am just talking about me and my experience.

grateful …that i am blessed with the Best family,[the oldest being my grandma…whose voice message in whats app sent by my daughter is my daily pill of strength…..] who support me every doctor and nursestime. and also lots of friends and well wishers, who called, visited and sent messages wishing me speedy recovery. Prayers are so powerful is what i realized for the nth time.

 

hopeful…….that this is the last mishap in my tenure on earth!!!!!! and if it is not …i am hopeful i will have the same mental strength to stride through the forthcoming one with the same set of blessings, wishes, prayers and support…

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My dance lessons…..

images (2)Oh yes…………you people must be wondering, what the hell happened to me to have joined a dance class. I really havent , but have the feeling of attending one in the past  fortnight.  I am with my physiotherapist for an hour where i try to twist, fold, straighten, curl, and stretch my right hand – The hand where there are two steel plates …I can hear some of you saying, “steel bodied woman….”

sure…literally i am one now..

download (2)But honestly, a simple gesture as this one is difficult too..The first thing in the morning as to cup your hand and have a handful of water to rinse your mouth is a task. Then comes brushing, sometime back i thought i would be comfortable probably a few months later doing things with my left…yes left…as i had trained my mind to do so. But eventually when i was out of the sling, i shifted back to my right hand routine. I am yet to hold that handful of water…

combing my hair is difficult as i have to comb the right side too with the left hand..shampooing too calls for the same action. For once i am happy that my hair is short !!!

every action in the day makes me consciously contemplate, how important is every inch of our body that we otherwise dont take note of.

I dedicate this article to my physiotherapist Dr. Savita kshirsagar…. a strict physiotherapist, a good friwnd, a warm person.
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Now regardless of an injury or illness, we need to work our joints regularly before its too late. my dance class has maximum number of people coming with the frozen shoulder complaint. Yesterday my dance teacher ! nicely explained how  we don”t attend to the mild pain that starts, ignoring it initially for a few weeks, by applying oil or having self medicated pain killers, then a couple of weeks with prescribed painkillers from the doctor, then our work, or family issues taking priority for another week or two, and how  by the time the shoulder joint becomes immobile. Then we are directed to a physiotherapist and we join the dance class…

Here too, we are good students in front of the teacher. We are not punctual in doing our homework, and hence end up having more classes than required. We also don”t miss to complain about the time taken by the physiotherapist to “cure” us….Sometimes a “not so great” certificate is thrown on the physiotherapist.

We need to take our problem into consideration and the guidance offered by the PT to find a cure for ourselves.

(PT -physiotherapist – not that you cannot decipher PT but recently came to know that there are OT -Occupational therapist too who claim to be PTs )

Our PT cannot be with us throughout the day to get the exercises done and magically make us gain our flexibility. Its very important that we do it once or twice again before we see them the next day. Its after all our health our pain our discomfort that needs to be attended.

So, any joint pain in your body please don’t ignore and take medical assistance at the earliest to avoid severe pain and discomfort…

Now….off  i am to my dance class for the day and soooothing wax treatment for the sore hand…..

happy dancing !!!!images

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From the Convalescing state……

downloadThe last time when I went under the knife two consecutive times for a health issue I had blogged when I was convalescing .  I had given the title as ‘Roller coaster ride’

This time again in the convalescing period, I am putting down my thoughts and thought of giving the title of

‘when life is thrown out of gear’

but on second thoughts found the title to be a little exaggerated. For life has indeed had twists and turns, but definitely not to the extent of not being able to set right. Its just like how one feels when one drives on the wrong side of a busy road.

It all happened on the republic day of this January. I set out with my husband and brother to receive a relative at the railway station. On our way we planned to collect something from a shop. we parked the car on the opposite side of the road from the shop.

This is a crucial point of the blog…words almost came up to my throat and was on the verge of coming out…

“you guys go and collect it please. let me stay back in the car”

I wanted to utter these words but then dismissed the thought and stepped out of the car as destiny had its own itinerary and there was no way I would be spared. I have never before tried climbing a one and half foot road divider simply just because I never felt confident to do it and always felt it was wrong from the safety point of view. On the fatal day, I did do what I felt was wrong with some sort of confidence that I never had before. In no time I was on the divider and the next moment I was falling down…Even before I could realize I just heard a sound

‘tup’

but never thought it could be the bone of myforearm. yes when I managed to sit up, my right hand was dangling down from the forearm..the broken bone pierced out of the skin. My hubby with all the presence of mind and courage slid the bone back and I held it from below and rushed to the hospital’s emergency unit .

What followed was painkillers, x-rays, antibiotics, temporary plaster, pricks after pricks, special room, nurses with a sweet smile, IV fluids, later on the next day getting ready for surgery.

I should not miss the small prayer the hospital assistant said before Wheeling me into the theater. It makes a whole lot of a difference to your confidence level. I said my prayers too.Things were set right with fixing of two plates.  I was back to the room and back home in two days with the right arm in a sling and arm pouch.I wonder how things happen in a jiffy.

Even small errands of brushing my teeth, holding a palm full of water to rinse my mouth or wash my face had/ has became an ordeal. I went ahead and cut my long tresses to shoulder length. In spite of all the love and pampering I started feeling ‘dependent ‘ and cursed myself for the stupid act. Neither my love to read books nor the pleasure of listening to music  helped me in overcoming the boredom n the mild unpleasant state of mind that was creeping in. everything was boring and I found my mind taking solace in the self pity…I realized immediately that I cannot allow that to dampen my spirits.

The first to come to my mind was my niece Preethi…Read more about her here:

http://www.soulfree.org/

I shunned all the self pity right then. Then its my dear savitha who is battling with all her might against the monstrous C. If at all someone can crib its these two. when they don’t have even the idea of that, others should not even think of complaining leave alone doing it.

once again I counted the blessings in my life – my own positivity, my family ( my biggest and greatest strength), my huge circle of friends and well wishers

Its ‘you’ and you alone who can control your actions for the mind controls the body.

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That blissful moment……..

 

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The elevator to success is out of order. You will have to use the stairs…. One step at a time

                                                                                                                  Joe Girard

You are the apple of my eye,

My heartthrob,

 

The journey has just begun,

The journey so far has not been a smooth one either.It is a long, probably unending journey as one learns throughout one’s life time….

But you have crossed those hurdles with a smile on your lips and faith in your heart.

Keep moving…….

Follow your dreams……

Stick to them, work towards them, and excel in them.

Criticism, nasty looks, did not hamper you anytime and will not do so in future.

You have climbed a few steps in the ladder of success and I am glad you did them one at a time.

You will certainly reach the top

Don’t give up in the middle if you gasp for breath….

Nothing is easy and free in this world.

Your efforts, your focus, your hard work, your dedication, has started reaping fruits.

Believe in you, and believe in the Almighty whose hands you have tightly held.

To quote the tamil poet Thiruvalluvar,

A mother experiences the most blissful moment more, not when she gives birth to her child but when she hears that her child has excelled in knowledge, is wise, is a good human being, and a loving person.

Thanks for making us experience ‘that blissful moment’ when me and appa received the

Dr.K. U. NARAM AWARD, this evening, as you were nominated by your college for standing first in your college in the B.Sc course.

God bless you dear.

 

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this moment…..

This moment, 

First, be at peace with your own self

your body releases better hormones that way.

Stop regretting about your past and enjoy this moment.

Plan for your future, but don’t start living now.

Love everyone around you.

Don’t hold past grudges in your heart and mind. It had an expiry date !

Forgive and forget – a tried and tested phrase.

yes…..just forget. 

speak kind words, If that is difficult, put yourself on ‘silent mode’

May be you will never get a chance to say sorry otherwise at a later date.

Life is a challenge for everyone, you are not the only one facing it. 

No self-pity please…

Think simple, comprehend simple, so that you live simple. 

Its much easier to do than you think… 

Try it….

Don’t read between lines, words and syllables…

People do love you… there is no strategy going on behind you to slay you down… 

people have better jobs to do…

believe it..

Above all, thank the almighty for giving you a chance to love the people around you. 

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